those promises,those plans.. its all GONE..
January 14,2013 1:29pm 8:29pm
I dont know where to start… we made this decision.. he made this decision without any idea how his half suffers with that ‘decision’.. hindi ko alam kaya nya akong bitawan ng ganito.. he had no idea how sorry i am when im writing those msgs.. i dont know,. He gave me what i want but not what i need.. hindi pla pwedeng bgyan nmin ung isa ng enough time to think ng hindi nagkaka ganito.. all our plans are already gone 😦 nasasaktan ako.. i know nasasaktan dn sya… i thought he was the one who will stop me,, but then i was wrong again.. kaya nya pla..
This is what i’ve got.. here i am looking to his handsome pictures and wishing everythings gonna be alright..
In a few minutes we will celebrate our 6th monthsary.. so sad not to see him and greet him and tell him how i love him..
Sobrang bigat n ng dibdib ko… wla n kong mggwa kundi hanapin ung dapat hanapin.. akala ko mkkpag skype kmi when he got home from batangas.. hindi pla.. i was so excited to see him,, wla pla.. disappointed lang ako.. haaaaaay 😦 sna lang maayos agad,, i need to be strong.. i need this.. ill keep this things on my mind.. 😦
9:46pm-4:46am
Wla ako s sarili.. sobrang bigat ng dibdib ko..i want to check my fb to look if he sent any msgs.. pero pinipigil ko pdin.. ayokong sbihin nya n wla pla ako binatbat.. pero hinhanap ko n agad sya.. im missing him,, and thinking he’s not mine for a mean time.. lagi ko nlng cnsbi s srili ko.. i need this.. we need this… im not good to hide my feelings but this time i should have to… umiyak n ko s srili ko.. ayokong kaawaan srili ko.. i need to be strong.. checking my phone out is crazy weird.. expecting and wishing n sna may msg 😦 hindi pla dn pwede kase inalis ko n nga muna account ko.. LORD,PLEASE I KNOW YOU HAVE PLANS FOR US TO MAKE US STRONG.. THIS IS JUST ONE OF THOSE THOUSANDS PROBLEMS THAT REAL LOVERS MUST SOLVE IN A SHORT OF TIME…
11:50pm-6:50am
10mins more., 😦 its just like im about to cry.. hirap.. sobraaaaaa.,, ‘you are all i need” but where are you? I think you need this too..i have to admit n kelngan kong mging mtatag s mga pwedeng mngyari.. hndi ko hawak ang buhay nya.. were in this down period but one thing i know is i love that mokong and i never will.. hindi ko lng mtnggap n kaya nya,. He just did..hirap n hirap n ko… ilng days p kong gnto 😦
January 15,2014 00:06-7:06am
It’s the time again which comes once a month. Our monthsary. ♥ been half year.. Though we have so many discrepancies, and hmm we still in this down period i still love you and i always will..
For now, we don’t get to talk or see each other thru skybe but being apart from you doesn’t change the way I feel about you. I might say things that make you feel bad but babe, you know right? That’s my way to show you how i miss you:* We never knew that our friendship would grow into a beautiful relationship that only us can understand. YOU. You’re not just my boyfriend, you can be a best friend too. But most of all, you are my inspiration, babe. ♥Being loved by you was the best thing that has happened to me. I don’t really care what other people say about you and me. What rumors can they make just to ruin the relationship we built with thousand of sweet efforts. They can’t ruin a relationship that has made strong by God.We’ve been into many ups and downs, but we’ve managed to overcome them.. i still believe and i keep on praying n maayos dn ntin to.. Iloveyou and happy half year monthsary.. we almost there!
1:44pm-8:44am
Feel so dizzy and sick.. 😦 seeing those changes makes my heart falls into pieces.. another 2packs of tissue.. cant believe this things are happening to us.. feeling ko nkuha mo freedom m ngayon.. you look so good.. while me looking so wasted and hopeless.. 😥
You changed your dp and cover photo on fb.. that makes me cry.. 😥
3:15pm-10:15pm
Talked to my friend.. hindi ko n nakaya.. kelngan ko ng iiyak to.. mom saw me crying.. cnbi ko nlng n ngkkwento ung friend ko just not to notice n nasasaktan ako.. 😦 i will celebrate our daywith all myself… i think i need to go out.. mas nalulungkot ako s bhay.. hindi ko kaya.. kahit anog gwin ko hndi ko kayang hindi tingnan kung ano bang gngwa nya o iniisip nya.. thru twitter nkikita kong he’s okay… i need to be happy with him,, yun lang yun.. kelngan komg malampasan to.. 😦
5:11pm-12:11am
Okay i have to admit im missing my mokong.. 😦 this is too much.. khit anong gawin ko ung luha ko bgla nlng tumutulo… kelngan ko pang mag reading glass para lng bawas halata ng mata,. 😦 sobrang hirap ng gnito.. hindi ako mkaiyak s mom ko.. 😥 ako lng ang humharap ng lahat ng to…i think i need to go out n tlga… sasabog n ko 😦 miss n miss ko n ang lesheng yun!
6:21pm-1:12am
Omg!he noticed me.. i went out to celebrate our day.. i cant stay at home.. thinking n monthsarynmin tpos hindi kme nagkausap..hindi ko mn lng nading o nbasa ung salitang nagpapasaya sken.. ‘iloveyou baby.. you’re my everything..’ miss n miss ko na sya.. ung puso ko.. 😦 sobra ko syang mahal.. mahal na mahal..
9:30 pm-4:30am
Its hard to accept n ill go to sleep again without any msgs from him, pano ko masasanay..gusto kong sumigaw.. gusto kong magwala., miss n miss n miss n kita love 😥
11:56pm-6:56am
Waiting to finish this day… waiting to receive a msg from you…waiting you to come back with me… all i did today is to stare my phone and to check my phone hoping i will get a msg from you.. 😦 my heart beats as i thought when i saw a dm on twitter for me.. when i opened it i justfound out that it wasnt you.. it was jen 😦 im missing my boyfriend..
January 16,2014 00:08-7:08am
Thanks 15 is over..another day to face without you… mtutulog nnmn akong wlang goodnight txt atggsing nnmn ako bukas ng wlang goodmrning msg.. hirap n ko.. hirap n hirap.. iyak nlng ako ng iyak.. wearing my reading glass pra lang hindi mahalata ng sobra ang mata ko.. miss n miss ko n ang mokong ko.. but i need to resist,. I should have to.. this is what he wants.. pinipigilan kosarili ko kase alam kong gusto nya din to. 😥 but my life is turning to miserable na…hnggngklan p ko tatagal 😦 hirap n ko.. i missed everything about us.. 😦
9:12am-4:12pm
Just woke up.. im up.. anther day to deal with.. another day to face..another day to resist.. another day to survive.. miss n miss ko n ang saya ko.. hirap n ko sa gntong sitwasyon.. hirap na hirap..
2:32pm-9:32pm
Read some tweets and saw some pictures on twitter.. feeling ko sobrang masaya sya.. feeling ko he got his freedom.. feeling ko okay n okay sya without me… saw some tweets of him like as onegirl tweeted too.. ayokong pagisipan ng kung ano un but its like may connection lahat 😦 kayaba gustong gusto nyang umuwi? May rason ba kaya dapat syang umuwi? If yes,i need to hear this from him.. sobrang skit na.. im totally wrecked.. im sick of this.. they were so happy. They were so cute longboarding together,, ung mga pictures 😦 yun ba yung reason nya y he’s happy? How could i stand up again if he doing this to me for real.. 😦
Kelngan nya ba tlgang gwin to sken? Im suffering!!! I need to hear n he doesnt love me anymore,.Mas gusto ko yun kesa mahirapan ako ng ganito..
Ayoko ng gawin nya lang akog reason pra mkahanap sya ng ibang babae.. 😦
6:00pm-1:00am
ano bang kelangan kong maramdman pa para tigilan n ko ng sakit n to?! sasabog n ko.. 3 araw plng may kapalit n ako? ayokong bgyan lahat ng meaning ang mga nkikita at nababasa ko..pero pagod n kong intindihin lahat.. pagod na pagod na.. nasasaktan n ko ng sobra 😦 tama na.. gusto ko ng gumising.. pleasseeee
11:46pm-6:46am
I just took shower thinking im gonna be okay for a while..hindi pdin pla. Pucha pdin b n s pliligo kelangan ko pang umiyak?! Pgod n ko. Hirap n ko.. im sick. 😦
He’s happy now., ayokong isipin at tanggapin n iba n ang nagpapasaya sknya., ang hirap ifigure out n hndi n ko ung kasama nya s mga plans nya,,, khit anong gwin ko hindi ko mpigilan luha ko.. hindi b pwedeng isang araw nlng umiyak? Pgod n ko.. pwede bang maubos nlng muna ang luha? Nasasaktan n ko.. eto b gusto nya? If this is what he wants sobra n to.. too much for me to stand up again.,,he won.. he already did.. nasasaktan n ko.. nhihirapan n ko..
Is this he wants? Is this he wants for me to realize how miserable i am? Eto b?!! Gusto pba nyang ipmukha sken n im just a spoiled brat who doesnt deserve him? Puchang ina nmn! This is too much! He just using me to free himself from me! Masaya nba tlga sya s isang babaeng kyang sabayan ang trip nya? Kayang kantahin ang mga favorite songs nya? And most of all kya syang samahan s paglolongboard?! Yun lng b ang ktapat ko? Babaeng mrunong mglong board? 😦 ONLY GOD KNOWS WHAT IM FEELING INSIDE ., sya ung mlapit sayo.. ayokong isipin n lhat may connection,, kelngan ko pang magsinungaling s srili ko n hndi totoo ang lahat ng nangyayare,, im tired
Ill go to sleep now.. pugtong pugto nnmn ang mta ko.. araw araw mo komg pinapatay… 😦 GODBLESS US
January 17,2014 4:39am-11:39am
I woke up crying,, hndi ko alam kung bkit nagawa ko syang imsg at iparamdam how miserable my life now without him,. I dm’d him on twitter,,, im begging. 😦 i got some reasons y im able to stay away from his life… sobrang skit madinig s taong mahal mo na he’s giving you up.. khit gnong kasakit yoy must learn to move on and love yourself.. mhirap man but kakayanin ko,. Ive heard enough from him.. ive been cold to him-.alam ko,, i just want to make him feel what he gonna loose if he still continue what he thinks its right to do… is it too much to ask 15minutes to see him? He’s been in the province walang comp shop? Nakalimutan nya ba na mababaw lang kaligayahan ko? Nkalimutan nya ba n i love surprises? Nkalimutan nya b kung anong ang needsko? Kelngan ko p bang sabihin ung mga bagay n yun para malaman nya ang dahilan? Yes! His decision is working it makes me realize n khit anong gwin ko wla pdin pla ako.. he doesnt love me anymore,. Thats the fact.. i need to accept that fucking fact.. malaks ako but seriously i dont know where to begin., GOD will guide me,, i’ve got enough answer from him., kung uuwi ako ng august we’ll see if the sparks is there–. Got this answer from him,. Mamatay n ko s nangyayari but kelangan kong buhayin sarili ko pra s mga taong ngpapalakas skin,, i think this is over.,
2:30pm-9:30pm
Ang hirap plang tumayo ng hndi mo nasasabi ung dahilan ng pgging cold mo.. worst thing is hindi k p nkakapag explain may nagpapasaya n agad sknya.. i need to be happy .. nkikita ko naman syang masaya eh..un ung gusto ko,, mging masaya sya..
7:30pm-2:00am
miss n miss ko n ung usapan,ung kulitan nmin.. lahat.. miss ko n ang buhay ko.. araw araw akong pinapatay ng pagkakataon.. eto b ang gusto nya? he won again.. im weak.. he always be my weakness.. this is too much.. i missed my everything.. 😦 ilang araw,months,at years p bang ganito? kung may iba ng nagpapasaya sayo tell me.. ayoko ng ganito.. araw araw akong namamatay.. hirap n hirap n ako.. pano n mga plans nten? pno ang lahat.. hindi ko n nakayan knina.. i dm’d him on twitter.. asking if he still loves me.. mahal n mahal ko ang mokong na yun.. kahit ganon un mahal na mahal ko sya.. kung ayaw nnmn nya sken isa lang nmn ang gsto kong madinig saknya.. gusto ko sabihn nyang hindi n nya ko mahal.. gusto kong tumayo din s tamang panahon kung sakaling iwan nya ko.. pano ko mkakatayo kung nhhirapan ako s mga nangyayari sknya.. mhirap mkitang masaya ang taong mahal mo sa ibang babae..sobrang hirap po… 😦
9:06pm-4:06am
mom is noticing me.. nasa table p kmi alam nyang wla nnmn akong ganang kumaen.. i asked my mom ano bang dapat kong maramdmn knina? wla akong ganang kumaen.. i lost my appetite.. sinabi ko n sa mom ko ang lahat.. ang lahat lahat.. ayokong kawaan ako ng mga parents ko dahil s ginawa ko.. mahal ko sya kaya ko pinagpatuloy ang ayaw nila.. pero you know what? wla akong pinagsisihan kung bkit ko to tinuloy? mahal na mahal ko ung tao.. thankful ako kase khit anong ngawa ko suportado pdin ako ng parents ko especially my mom… alam ko galit sila pero ung feeling na nanjan sila pra pkinggan ang pag iyak ko.. thankful ako kht pano.. like what my mom said kelangan kong buhayin ang sarili ko..
11:24pm-6:24am
Ayoko man aminin pero kkgaling ko lng s pag iyak.. paulit ulit ko ng cnsbi s srili ko n tama na.. mom heard me crying again.. isa lang nasabi nya ‘anak,tama na.’ Gusto kong maglaho nlng.. hindi ko matanggap na kayang kaya nya .. cnsbi nya lng ba n dinededma nya lng khit apektado sya?Hindi nya b naiisip ang mga cnsbi nya kase may totoong nagpapasaya n sknya? Puchang babae.. enough muna,, kelngan ko ng isipin n wala n sya s buhay ko.. mhirap tanggapin pero un ang dapat kong gwin.. sobrang hina ko na.. i went to church a while ago.. hindi ko npigilan sarili kong umiyak.. ung mga taong nagtitinginan sken ung mga mata nilang nagtatanong.. ang sarap sigurong yakapin ko cla isa isa makalimot lang ng ilang segundo..mgpagaan lng ng loob khkt saglit.. talking to GOD really helps,, kaya LORD,if you’re saving me now thank you.. heal my neart., im too tired,, iloveyou
January 18,2014 7:14am,7:15am,7:16am,7:18am,7:22am-PHILIPPINES TIME: 2:14pm,2:15pm,2;17pm,2:18pm,2:22pm
“pinagisipan ko tong mabuti. siguro we need to part ways muna. this is the best i can do.sabihin na ng lahat ng tropa mo na wala akong buto na hindi ko napanindigan kung anong meron. pero this is the best way. your ruining your life because of me.sigura nga hindi ako ung karapat dapat sayo. tama si mami mo. you dont deserve na nasa long distance ka. you deserve na kasama mo ung mahal mo hindi ung malayo
im saying this not because my iba na ko or what. im saying this because it is for the best. continue your life.wag mo isipin na hindi rin ako nasaktan dahil nasasaktan din ako sa nangyayari. naniniwla ka naman sa kasabihang kung tayo tayo talga.sigura dumating sa puntong ayokong masaktan ka dahil sa katangahan ko. thank you sa love.thank you sa lahat. sana matanggap mo to. sana mag patuloy ka sa buhay mo. please dont reply na.maraming salamat. grazie. mabigat sa kalooban ko sabihin mga to.but dito tayo nag simula sana dito rin tayo mag kaayos at matapos ng maayos. thank so much baby
please do take care of yourself. di tamang ako ang mundo mo.maraming salamat sa lahat baby. i wont forget you. YOUR FREE.”
THIS IS MY HALF YEAR RELATIONSHIP ENDS.. THIS IS MY EVERYTHING ENDS..
I need and i should have to accept n dito na natatapos ang fairytale ng buhay ko.. i know hindi natapos ng happy ending pero alam ko GOD IS SAVING ME.. marami p kong tanong pero mas mbuti n nga cgurong ganito kmi.. mahirap pero dapat kayanin.. hindi dito nagtatapos ang buhay ko.. mahirap at i dont know where to start pero SOON im gonna be okay.. mkakaharap din ako s mga lalaking strangers na patuloy n mananakit sa puso ko.. im willing to do anything.. i thought he was the one.. but its just a thought.. he’s happy now.. and i should be happy for him because thats all i want.. mahirap bumangon sa kinatatayuan ko pero i need to face this with all my heart.. my heart is broken.. my body is weak.. IM WEAK.. time will pass and im gonna be okay..
I enjoyed my everything for the past 6 months of my life.. nabuhay ako s mundo n puno ng saya,kilig,kulitan,iyakan at awayan.,. hindi lahat ng bagay permanente.. this is time for me to love myself again more than anything.. i need to save my life.. GOD GUIDE ME.. GUIDE HIM.. HE ALWAYS BE MY MOKONG WHO MADE MY 6 MONTHS SO MEMORABLE AND UNFORGETABLE.. I ALWAYS BE THANKFUL TO YOU GOD FOR LETTING ME FEEL THIS KIND OF LOVE THAT I THOUGHT IT WILL LAST.. THANK YOU..
CHANGED my bio and background to this on twitter..
iampiccolaprincess Blog 